Abandonment: I’ve Got Daddy Issues.
I was abandoned by my mother as an infant, before I could even remember her face. But it wasn’t really until my father abandoned me at the age of 9 that things really went south for me. That word, abandonment – what did it mean for me?
It took me years of soul searching and counseling to figure out that it wasn’t my mother that hurt me, it was my father whom I adored! For years I was misdirecting my hurt onto unsuspecting male suitors whom which I had toxic relationships with. This was my way of protecting myself from further hurt, and also as a means of not working through the actual hurt that came from my father leaving me behind.
I felt disposable and did everything I could to prove it, until I released that hurt and forgave my father, mother and most importantly myself.
Adversity University: Using Adversity as a Means of Learning
Everything happens for a reason. What this means is, we are supposed to be learning something when we struggle with and eventually move through adversity.
Personally I try to stop and ask myself, “What it is I am supposed to be learning here?” The answer is not always clear in the beginning, but if you dig deep you can usually find at least part of the answer.
It takes a little practice and self-discipline to stop long enough to take a few deep breaths and ask, “What is really going on here?”
Once you have your answer, do your best to change course and get back on the good path. Do this and you will have a new tool in your toolbox for dealing with life.
Anger Management: The “Katie KaBoom” Effect.
I see a lot of the “Katie KaBoom” effect within my family and others. This is when someone is holding in dissatisfaction and anger until something small makes them explode into a rage.
I was a Katie KaBoom for years because I didn’t understand how to handle anger or understand what was triggering this in myself.
In one particular past relationship, my partner knew exactly which buttons to push to trigger me. He did this so he could play the victim for being with such a “crazy” woman. My friends actually fell for it for a long time and would side with him. I had to tell them what to look for because he would say mean things to me that only I understood. When I had enough I would blow my top.
Once the cat was out of the bag, my friends started telling him off for me! I love my girl friends! They are the best. It wasn’t long after that when I moved out and got my own place. It was the best thing I had ever done for myself!